How to catch a Leprechaun... (March 1st special)

YOU WILL NEED...

• Net
• Lucky Charms (Bait) 
• Shotgun 
• Gold
• your Wits
• Chainsaw

 Your Objective
 Not only do you have to catch the Leprechaun, but you have to interrogate it to tell you where the gold it. If it doesn't tell you where it is, actually kill it. The secret is, you may not get the money from the Leprechaun, but you get money from finding the first leprechaun.
OK, for the reference, most Leprechauns look like...
(NOW THE IMPORTANT PART)
How to catch a leprechaun

1. Know what your looking for. There are research videos and important studies done to tell what to look out for. The best footage we have ever gotten from the LCA (Leprechaun Catching Association) is this. 
2. Be able to catch a leprechaun. If your not skilled enough or just too dang FAT, than don't. I mean, if it means that much to you, (All the Fame and Fortune) than just simply wish it all came to you. OR loose some weight fatty.
3. Finally, know the leprechaun, feel the leprechaun (U PERVERT!!!), and follow the leprechaun. Know its habits and ways, this will allow you to know how to catch a  leprechaun.
 

So NOW YOU KNOW...

 

(Next Week: How to survive through YOUTUBE) 

How to Survive the SNOWPOCOLYPSE...

Hey, if you live somewhere up in the north central part of the US, you are most likely being pounded with snow or have been pounded. Some of the snow, sleet, and rain coming is pretty ridiculous. But relax, because here is how to survive the Snowpocolypse.


1.Always check the forecast before and after the storm.You definitely need to know how much snowy damage has became of your house or neighborhood.

















 2.Have Fun, Unless its -50 degrees outside. When you check to forecast, make sure its safe to go outside. If its hard to decide, both check for later, and also make your own judgement. If not, you could end up like this guy.











3. If there are wither penguins, polar bears, or yetis outside of your house, you are probably in the ice age and have to realize that is is probably very cold and you must find a very warm shelter. If you don't you will probably die.






4. Don't go out onto the frozen lake in a pickup truck. (Or any car at that.) Rather find a way to walk on safely if you need to go onto it. It can all be explained through this equation.

10,000 pound truck + 200 pound person ≠ Ice that holds about 300 pounds.

5.Don't leave anything important outside. If you read books outside and leave it out during the snowpocolypse, your not getting your book back. If you leave some pop outside to chill, your going to soon have a POPcicle. So you, see, don't leave important stuff outside. It could come back to haunt you. I left my sister outside and I never saw her again. (Thank the Lord)




So these are some tips on how to survive the Snowpocolypse. I hope these have came in handy, and yah.

(Next Post: How to catch a Leprechaun)

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Have you ever seen the cheesiest movie in the world? You know, either bad special effects or a very stupid plot. Well there are a few, from "Attack of the  50 Foot Woman", to "Them", to Krazy Klowns from Outer Space". 

  

These are all pretty bad movies. So here are my tip on, HOW TO SURVIVE REALLY BADLY MADE MOVIES!!!

1. Find the positive things about the movie. Whether the ending was OK, or Harrison Ford plays a good role. Check these things, they may make the movie a lot less excruciating. 

(from the movie CHRONICLE. An amazing movie...)

2. Always check how long the movie is. If its 3 hours and 57 minutes, don't watch it unless you want to waste 4 hours on a movie. Oh, and just for a movie not to watch, its about 240 hours long. THATS 10 DAYS!!! 

3.If its actually the worst movie on Earth. (The Blob. Just saying) Fall asleep. This may be helpful to waste time and end the horrible consequence this movie has thrust upon you.

So there are some tips on how to survive a very badly done movie. I hope these tips helped you. So yah!!!

How to survive in SKYRIM (SKYRIM Tribute)

Well, I've been playing SKYRIM and I have some tip on how to survive the wonderfully horrible but beautiful landscapes of SKYRIM.

1.Have a bad-ass theme song that everybody will enjoy. HOLY CRAP, I think Dovakiin has one.

Also, who cares how you took a freakin arrow in the knee!!!

Anyway, (Sweet Music huh)

2.Know what your doing. Have you seen some of those players out there. I swear some are retarted.

Yah, and this is one of my multiple stacks of evidence. Not the fact that the poster if funny, (Actually Freakin Hilarious) but its the fact that the fighter is in all iron armor. What the heck, whoever is playing him will eventually get massacred.

3. Dragonborn dosent mean you can steal anything. Other people have to eat too.

Have you ever been at a dinner table with a celebrity. Well neither have I, but I figure thats because their so full of themselves. Same with some players on Skyrim. People in the game aren't jsut meat sacks you can easily kill. Treat the game with respect, it took a long time to make.

4.Get married.

If you haven't heard, its true. You can get married in SKYRIM. But the cool thing is your wife opens a shop and gives you free money. Not only that but why not do somthing you can't actually do playing this game.

So those were some tips on how to survive in Skyrim. Hopefully this comes in handy for you nerds who play.



Translated stuff that is very cool.

我恨所有那些白痴絕對討厭我了很多仇恨犯罪。哈，你可以吸我的桃子。小子，我是一個性感的芒果。我想你找出這意味著什麼。如果沒有，你申請到最附近的麥當勞，因為那將是你這樣一個可怕的白痴lamest和最佳的工作。

Olen surkea laamoja ja minulla on myös ruokinta Haettu Barbie ja hänen ystävänsä.

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Did you mean: ghostly children ate my Camaro, it tastes like crack. that's off the fo sizzle.

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אני מריח בוריטוס ומוות. למה אני שונא את פנדה ואת הילדות הקטנות. Thats זה כך מבולגן. אני מתכוון לזה כל כך הרבה, חשבתי להרוג ברבי ולהאכיל אותו הכלב שלי

You know your having a bad/fatal day when...

1. Your car is being chased by homing missiles.


2.Your super buddy is being a dick...





 3. Everybody's against you...

(Happy Holiday) How to survive in Santa's Workshop

1. Remember to bring a present for Santa. He won't actually let you in without a present. It would be pretty awkward to show up in the middle of the North Pole without a present for Santa. He would probably leave you in the freezing cold.

2. Bring expedition food that won't freeze in the winter. If you bring water, you are stupid. Bring a dairy queen treat, or bring a food that's meant to be frozen. It will last you longer than just having to wait.











3. Make sure you believe in Santa. If you don't and you go to his workshop. You aren't proving anything to anyone, the only thing you proved is that you are an idiot.

4. If you are beginning to become accustomed to Christmas music and hot coco. You have been in Santa land TOO  LONG.

5. Make sure you have a way to get home. If you don't, you may end up in a bad situation. I'll tell you, I don't want to be Santa's elf.