Superhero Rules on How Not To Be A Jerk

   Superman, unlimited powers, no limits, always stopping crime. WHAT A JERK!!! Well of COURSE he's going to stop the criminal. He has no limits to power. Super speed, strength, agility, and can shoot freaking lasers out of his eyes. So why praise him for doing nothing, showing no courage, and stopping crimes our own police can stop. Because we need someone. So, I decided, we can have heroes on our Earth, but there should be some guild lines.

Superman Rule: Please, do not be all powerful. When you watch a game of football, and the score is 2,000,000,000,000-0, You stop watching. Why not stop watching Superman...

Batman Rule: Don't be goth. Why the hell do we watch a hero that kicks some butt, then goes home and cuts himself with his butlers shaving razor. It really annoys me.

Green Lantern Rule: If powers are "Stricken apon you". Please check the details. Its like buying that sugar from the guy in the alleyway by your house. You don't know its sugar, but you take it anywhey...WHY!!!

Spiderman Rule: Please, don't tell your girlfriend about your powers. Because in the long run, the only actual reason she hasn't broken up with you is because you have powers.

Thor Rule: If you have a weapon, please, don't use a hammer. I mean what does he think, he strikes fear into people by waving a magical hammer around. I don't think so. HEY THOR, try a samurai sword.

Wolverine Rule: Always be a bad-ass.

Wolverine Rule 2: If you always kick butt, please don't wear yellow and blue spandex. If you ask me, that's embarrassing.  Spandex, seriously. He looked good before with the whole jacket thing. Which he ruins any whey because he always rips it with his claws.

The Hulk Rule: If you only have powers that develop because of anger, please don't watch scary movies. Nobody wants to be caught in a psychotic rage because you decided to watch Halloween or something.

The She-Hulk Rule: Please, don't copy other heroes. This makes you look like an extreme idiot.

The Thing Rule: Read SHE HULK...

Chuck Norris Rule: Always have a signature move. For Chuck Norris, the round-house kick. I heard that his round-house kick could leave shoe prints in your skull.

Shazaam! Rule: Don't turn from kid to man in seconds. This is a horrible thing. There's always that second or so that you go through ALL of puberty, and that sucks.

The Flash Rule:Never have a symbol that doesn't represent your power... Lightning=Electric Power. If he wants a symbol, try a race car or a roadrunner.

Naurito Rule: If the world knows your a ninja, your not a ninja.

Green Hornet Rule: If your sidekick is better than you, find a worse sidekick. That's just embarrassing.

Bob Barker (AWESOMEST MAN EVER) Rule: Always have a sweet TV show.

Captain America Rule: Of your about to kill your nemesis, don't take 2 hours to do it. People watching you have lives they need to get to.

So, these are some very important powers and rules. If you add them all together, they should look a little something like this.





So try the rules out... Who knows, you to might get lucky.